Author Archives:
My life as I see it in time for mothers day
Wow I think about it and I have been a Mom for 21 years. I really have lost my own identity and was just mom. I am not satisfied with that now. Bullshit has been flying in my life since the remeregence of a person back into my life and it has not been beneficial in any way. I dont forget things said and done and sorry never fixes what yousaid you thought it to say it so you were thinking about it.I believe this disturbance in my what was very happy life is closing a chapter in my book. I am passed the foolish games, the sneaky, hiding,talk behind backs shit.if you are saying it behind another s back and voicing your personAl opinion outloud even to yourself than you should stand behind your words.make them vocal.secrets ruin lives.sneaking and mind games are so foolish.I aasume in a few hours my life is going to be changed forever.the brainwashing has been going on to long the nightmares my deepest fears that were consoled at one time are alive and the twisting roots are entwining the beating heart and I no longer care to fight.I throw down my sword.I stand behind my loud opinions I will not change for anyone nor should i have to love me as I am or move on.I am happy in my life ive accepted myselves and fight my demons to be constantly reminded of.I am not fighting this time i withdrawl and so be it let the chips fall where they are destined to lay.it is all a game
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Too good to be reality
My life this week has eerilly been very good.i can actually i am content with my life right now.it may last a few days or just dissapear.mentally i am sorta stable right now.my hubby actually wants me this week.my kids have become very independant.i have time to sew and work on my art.im repainting the living room and hall paint paint paint i think tomorrow i will start the hallway.
Bored of being depressed
Is it possible? I am very depressed I am very bored and together I am bored of being depressed. My life is the same everyday, I accomplish nothing,I have no purpose.why be awake to only want to be asleep or sleeping trying to make life go by to be over sooner so what is the rationale behind that? I am bored of wasting time but too depressed to do anything about it.again I cannot sleep this foot ankle pain thing Damn broke foot.encourages me to do nothing more,pain keeps me in the bed cannot take any mess for pain, so I suffer in agony in silence no one wants to admit I can’t do anything, they deny the pain exists so I don’t affect their lives, just shut me in my room and I meditate on tv to try to alieve some pain.but not just the foot the heart and head it pains with worthlessness.
Depression beyond death
I am so down that my amphetamines can’t even perk me up. I cannot function, I’m numb and everything just swirled past me I’m in and out of conciousness the Dr said I’d never get well I’m damaged goods.I get used up as a child against my will and I have to relive it everyday of my life. I have to suffer all my life…
Never going to get well
Went to Dr yesturday more depressed than ever. Lots of blackouts from dissasociating found out they are pretty much part of me forever. It’s not fair.I get damaged in my childhood and I’m paying the price for it now.I’m so unmitigated and depressed.
Wow am I living a dream….
All night u were my prince charming will it last? I want to spend forever with my prince.
My life revolves around you
As you lay here next to me, I cannot help but feel I am incomplete without you. My moods my motivation my reason for living is you.after 19 years together you have been my best friend and my worst enemy. We can do anything together.I love u
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The writer
It’s funny how one of me is the writer that’s me Lissa I write and the rest blackout then I just go on hold wish someone perkier will come out to play for the weekend
Real confused
I am not sure of my life right now. Yesturday he said he loved me….does he mean it or is he just playing a game. I want him to straight tell me what he is doing.
